See more ideas about humor, trucker quotes and big trucks. Jun 28, 2011 funniest one liners do not argue with an idiot. A old southern,slowtalking truck driver answers an ad in the paper for an otr position. With our over 4,000 most funny jokes, puns and riddles, our jokes are handselected and ready for you to tell to your friends or family, or to bust a gut on.
As i was driving to work this morning, this truck driver swerved right. Trucking memes and jokes that will make you laugh your head off posted in category. A grizzled old trucker was eating in a truck stop when three hells angels bikers walked in. A retired gentleman went to the social security office to apply for. Trucker, lawyer, and a priest trucker would amuse himself by running over lawyers.
Trucking industry, trucks by jurica magoci september 28, 2017 8 min comments as we all know the trucking industry is a very serious and important industry. Lots of really funny one liners and very short jokes. If you enjoyed this collection of funny truck driver jokes. So here are a few clean trucking jokes to help you keep moving. Should it happen that you know any good ford jokes. Without saying a word to the laughing bikers, the old man put his money down, got up, and left the diner. A massive collection of short, funny jokes related to cars, trucks and other vehicles. Redneck jokes hilarious redneck jokes jokerz page 3. Without a word of protest, the old man quietly left the diner. I used to be a train driver but, i got sidetracked. One of the bikers said to the waitress, not much of a man, was he.
I want the ugliest woman you can find to serve me a. The third biker turned over the old mans plate before joining the others at the counter. A doctor and a truck driver are both in love with a very beautiful woman named sara and the competition is fierce. Lots of really funny one liners and very short jokes carefully handpicked for you by for their sharp and humorous firepower. How many blonds did it take to change the lightbulb. The second one drank the truckers coffee, and the third wolfed down his apple pie.
Curious, the teacher asked, and where did you learn that, johnny. These are the closest i could get to stuff i could post here. See top 10 driving jokes from collection of 57 jokes rated by visitors. Oct 05, 2015 submitted by eaf143 a german lorry driver was in a pub in newcastle england he was complaining how lazy the british are, he drives his load from hamburg, goes through holland, belgium up to new. The third walked up to the old man and turned over the old mans plate, and then he took a seat at the counter.
At my old house our neighbor had a semi and we would go outside and run to his side of the street and do that and he would honk his horn for us. Read up on our old age jokes and getting old jokes to live forever. A grizzled old man was eating in a truck stop when three hells angels bikers walked in. The third biker turned over the old mans plate before joining the. Im a sailor, most of my jokes are not family friendly. The jb driver replies i am 2,500 lbs over gross and i only have to go 5 miles with it and there is a scale on the way. I never smoke grass and drive my car because, for one thing, no matter how many letters i write to the road commissions, they still refuse to start designing highways with secondchance exits. Funny memes funny truck driver jokes memes trucker humor. Driving one liners on taxi, i had the great fortune of directing many wonderful episodes, none more classic than reverend jims driving test. Funny trucking memes and diesel semi truck driver jokes.
Sep 28, 2017 trucking memes and jokes that will make you laugh your head off posted in category. With the rise of selfdriving vehicles, its only a matter of time before we get a country song where a guys truck leaves him too. Funny farming jokes, puns and stories michelle miller, the farm babe, is an iowabased farmer, public speaker, and writer, who lives and works with her boyfriend on their farm, which consists of row crops, beef cattle, and sheep. Semi trucks old trucks diesel cars diesel engine trucker quotes custom big rigs truck engine peterbilt the good old days. They got out and measured their rig, which was 12 feet 4 inches tall. He picked it up and wiped off the label to see what kind of bottle it was when a very old genie popped out. The swift driver says well when you get up to the scale cut your lights off and coast on by.
He drives around all the time waving at the rednecks. The first walked up to the old man, pushed his cigarette into the old mans pie and then took a seat at the counter. Its less embarrassing if your friends see you leaving the principals office. The man immediately leans out of his window and replies, bitch. One of the blondes looks up and says, yeah, but youve got a driver. The waitress replied, not much of a truck driver either.
See more ideas about trucker quotes, truck memes and truck quotes. It was then when his old habit took over and he snapped back at the officer naah, i was on my way to delivery when the bridge ran out of gas. A truck driver was tooling down the highway one afternoon and heard a pop. Shortly thereafter, one of the bikers said to the waitress, humph, not much of a man, was he. One day the driving instructor was giving lessons to an extremely nervous student who panicked whenever another truck approached on a particular twoline training road. And the bus driver asks the kid what he was doing he says what are you doing with your hands and feet. The woman behind the counter asked him for his drivers license to verify his age. Weve collected the best of truck driver jokes and puns just for you. A list of best and hilarious truckertruckdriver jokes that you will find on the internet. Now, one day, he was driving his normal route, when he spots a priest on the side of the. Whats the difference between a volvo and the principals office. After a week of intensive training, they got to the same stretch of road, and.
Submitted by eaf143 a german lorry driver was in a pub in newcastle england he was complaining how lazy the british are, he drives his load from hamburg, goes through holland, belgium up to newcastle and back to hamburg in two days. A swift driver walks over and says what is wrong jb. A collection of truck driver jokes and truck driver puns. Clean jokes, memes and short oneliners whoever said that clean jokes cant be funny couldnt be more wrong. What do truck drivers do when they get too old to have an erection. Jul 16, 2012 the best ever book of truck driver jokes. Trucker walks into a brothel and is greeted by an old lady with a glass eye. Car humor joke funny traffic flash me im bored truck truck driver jokes. A polish guy wins a brand new sports car in a contest. Apr 09, 2017 old man tells joke about irs and gambleling.
Trucker quotes, truck memes, peterbilt trucks, peterbilt 379, classic trucks, truck drivers, rigs. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience. Famous john wayne quotes and sayings johnny depp quotes. One day the rednecks stop him, they draw a circle in the dirt and say if you step out of that circle, we will kick your ass. The first walked up to the old man, pushed his cigarette. Here is our selection of jokes and funny stories about women car drivers. So the flamer gets out and swishes to tell the trucker to do that very thing. Little johnny said, he has a red pickup truck but he doesnt know how to drive it. Nevertheless, these jokes are healthy and good for both the young and old. The second biker picked up the old mans milk and spit into it. Welcome to this big page filled with funny car jokes. My wife wanted a foreign convertible, so i bought her a rickshaw. New ideas for truck driver humor hilarious dads trucking humor sadly this is true 18 wheeler truck drives through 5 foot flood keep them wagons moving raw hide. As they passed the old man, the first biker pushed his cigarette into the old mans pie, then laughed and took a seat at the counter.
A truck driver didnt notice the low bridge ahead sign and gets stuck under the bridge. He finds the manager of the restaurant there and tells him heres a hundred dollar bill. Lots and lots of jokes specially repurposed for youknowwho young, mark geoffrey on. The supervisor knows they need drivers bad, so he cuts off the entire interview and says. Thinking how important automobiles are to the western way of life, the amount of funny jokes and good driving jokes to be found is relatively small. Best trucker jokes truck driver jokes and humor jokesfest. When i saw you coming round that bend i thought, fortyfive at lea.
The old man lies on the bed but the old woman lies down on the floor. Thinking that perhaps he had blown a tire, he steered the rig onto the shoulder and walked back to check his tires. The woman behind the counter asked him for his driver s license to verify his age. As they pass each other, the woman leans out of the window and yells pig. The second walked up to the old man, spit into the old man. The trucking company was desperate for new drivers, decided to hire driving instructor and provide driving lessons for new drivers free of charge. What hair color do they put on the drivers licenses of bald men. Two good ole boys from the south were driving a truck through the back roads of west virginia when they came to an overpass with a sign which read, clearance. An old joke about a boy and a duck that my dad used to tell me when i definitely wasnt old enough for it to be appropriate. One liner jokes really funny clean jokes and humor.
The largest collection of the best one line jokes in the world. Why do they fit abs braking systems to the latest fords. Enjoy these hilarious and funny truck driver jokes. Need a funny or attempting to be oneliner to tell your driving buddies. What follows next is first are a couple of the few funny truck jokes we found which are actually funny, and then well be back with a few general driving jokes and automotive jokes. Three bikers and a trucker jokes about vehicles such as car jokes, train jokes, submarine jokes, helicopter jokes, motorcycle. One grabbed the truckers cheeseburger and took a huge bite from it. The truck driver says, no, i was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas. An old man was eating in a truck stop when three bikers walked in. Short, funny jokes and oneliners that will make you laugh. We live in a society where pizza gets to your house. We bumped into some old friends yesterday, my wife was driving. I bet you will love these ford jokes more than you love the cars.
So the driver can stop quicker to pick up the fallen off parts. The most hilarious car jokes youve ever heard jalopnik. The largest collection of car one line jokes in the world. Theres a bus driver and hes driven through town picking up kids he picks up this one kid and the bus driver watched the kid get sit down and everything and the kid started tapping his feet and wiggling his hands just kind of doing jazz hands. The old man asks, why are you going to sleep on the floor. What did the blond say when she opened up a box of cherios. The truck driver finishes his beer, gets back in his truck, and heads back onto the freeway. The old woman says, because i want to feel something hard for a change. The largest collection of car oneline jokes in the world. So i sent a plea out to the jalopnik community and you guys more than delivered as you often.
Lots and lots of jokes specially repurposed for youknowwho. And if you think so, we can prove you wrong, because weve made a compilation of familyfriendly and yet funny jokes. Right as the truck driver is starting to get in good with her, his company sends him on a week long job, but before he leaves he brings sara 7 apples. Whenever he saw a lawyer walking down the side of the road he would swerve to hit him.
Yesterday we were driving down the highway, and this red pickup truck pulled out in front of us and daddy yelled at him, jesus christ. One time chuck norris peed in the gas tank of a semi truck as a practical joke. Trucking jokes to keep you moving tetra capital blog. Clean jokes, memes and short oneliners greeting card poet.
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